Pre-Marital Counselling

In the past, pre-marital counselling was very much a church-based activity. However, nowadays, many people do not feel comfortable speaking to their priest/pastor/imam/rabbi about intimate issues. Sometimes the focus is more on the religious aspects of marriage than the practical. While I am open to all religions, my approach to pre-marital counselling is not based on any.

I get particularly excited about pre-marital counselling because I am able to use all my knowledge of marital counselling to guide a couple to avoid likely pitfalls. In our sessions, we will work on the following:

• checking that both partners agree on what a marriage should be (and the many decisions involved in a life together)
• identifying possible conflict areas
• addressing those areas so that they do not become serious concerns in the future
• learning to communicate and argue effectively
• understanding how to resolve conflict.

This list is not exhaustive. Most times, couples who come to me for pre-marital counselling are by no means a clean slate. Why? Because we have all lived a life prior to meeting our partners! In heading towards engagement or marriage, each partner brings with them a unique experience (I don’t like the word baggage). Thus, pre-marital counselling can also involve addressing unresolved issues in each partner’s past that may have an effect on their future union.